My Testimony

I was raised in a Christian home and in my youth was a Junior Soldier in The Salvation Army.  I always had a strong belief in God and I had made a conscious decision to follow Jesus at a young age. But I had an overwhelming interest in the supernatural and spiritual issues. I started reading horoscopes at an early age and practised seances with school friends. The desire to live my own life led me out of the church at the age of 15 but led me into darkness. Like many, it was knowing what power came from all the different religions and practises. Although I was raised in the Christian faith and knew not to experiment in things the Bible warns of, somewhere along the way the truth got blurred, distorted and lost. 

Like the prodigal son, I went out into the world as there were many things I wanted to do, and they out there waiting for me. Christianity was some-thing I would reconsider or return to when I was older after I had lived it up. I lived for the weekends, which were always centred around alcohol and entertainment, but the weekends were not enough, I needed some highs during the week. No matter how much I tried to live it up, this only brought temporary fulfilment. The following morning the empty void was still there. An immoral lifestyle and a string of broken relationships followed, most of which were abusive. My choices and lifestyle left me with deep emotional hurts, wounds and financial problems.

Such was the empty void inside; I was searching for the reassurance of hope and fulfilment which the world couldn’t provide. In a desperate search for happiness, alcohol became a way of getting high and trying to escape the reality and depression. I spent a considerable amount of money visiting fortune- tellers and on psychic lines in search for future hope and happiness. But no matter how many times they told me it was near, it never happened, it was false and misleading hope! 

I experimented in various methods of divination to find answers for myself, and eventually began reading tarot cards  as a hobby and joined others in the practice. This enhanced other supernatural abilities I believed I had been gifted with. I became addicted to the supernatural side and was overwhelmed by its power, but the depression and suicidal thoughts grew worse.  There were times in my despair I was reminded of the songs I sung at Sunday school, “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so”. Jesus Christ was alive and still knocking at my door! 

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door I will come in and eat with him and he with me" (Revelation 3:20) 

My experience with the supernatural and the darkness that surrounded me became frightening and I considered what I was doing could be wrong. I turned to others in the occult for help, but they were powerless! Closing the door to the supernatural was beyond my control and theirs. I turned to my parents for help to put this behind me who were Christians, which they did, but I wasn’t ready to fully surrender myself to Christ and live the Christian life.

It wasn’t long before I was drawn back in again.  Not long after the death of my father, I spoke with another fortune-teller who told me exactly how my father had died and how he was watching over me, I knew then this was all a lie, as it was everything my father stood against because of his own testimony and Christian faith, and even if my father were to speak through such methods, he would tell me to give myself to Christ and get back into the church.  

I had a broken relationship with my sister who I was close with before my father’s death, she eventually came to visit me to return my passport. I knew from my mother she had returned to her Christian faith and was back in the Church. She requested prayer for me at the church she was attending. It was their prayers that forced back the powers of darkness that surrounded me. It was a Saturday evening on 4thAugust 2000, when I turned on the God TV channel in a desperate search for hope. The Evangelist, Billy Graham was preaching a message on how we need Jesus and cannot make it without Him. It was as though the light had been switched on and it all became so clear that night. 

My return to Christianity was like the Philippian jailer in the book of Acts, I phoned my sister and cried out, “I’ve had enough, I want to be saved”! She led me back to Jesus that night, which was my passport to heaven!  A praying mother who didn’t give up over the years, a loving God who wouldn’t let go and a sister who was willing to wage war against the powers of darkness led to my return to Christ.

"So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will  return to me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it forth"  

(Isaiah 55:11)

This was the beginning of a spiritual journey, as the enemy doesn’t let go easily, the battle was fierce. When you open the door to the supernatural, no human power can close it. The occult is real, but God is also real and far more powerful and the only protection against the evil one is Jesus Christ! 

The desire for alcohol left  immediately, but I was a heavy smoker and struggled with an eating disorder. After two years of being back to Christ, I was set free from both. This was not due to efforts on my behalf, as I had various attempts times in the past but failed. The blood of Jesus has the power to break through all addictions. I know and as I have experienced God’s supernatural power and healing in my life which breaks through all spiritual oppression and depression. I do thank God I am not where I was, and how He has brought me from the darkness into the light. 

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to proclaim  good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free" (Luke 4:18) 

When I eventually realised my hopelessness and the failure of my own efforts to find happiness and came to the realisation of my rebellion against God, God in His mercy and Amazing Grace reached out and lifted me out of the darkness. My restoration to the Father through Jesus Christ has been the most spiritually enlightening journey. I am always overwhelmed with the words from the hymn that was written by Charles Wesley,   ‘And can it Be'

     Long my imprisoned spirit lay,                                                                                       

Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;                                          

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray                                        

 I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;                                           

My chains fell off, my heart was free

I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!    

“Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. (John 8:36)